Cover by Evlyn Moreau
Run as an open table at our regular Friday night sessions using 5e, this was a seven player table and we ran a ~4hr session, half of which was Goblin Mail.
Characters were:
Maxi the Tabaxi - a rogue
Gwensora - a cleric
Giovanni Giovanni - a rogue
Hyperion IV - a barbarian
Thomas Wetsack - a cleric
Archie Gruble - a fighter
Balthus Darkcloud - a cleric
Session Report: Goblin Mail
Our heroes received a letter from the Merchant da Pra, whom they helped previously in Pesto Alla Lungarvese. They ask that a package be delivered to their aunt out in the Penumbria borderlands - with the catch that the package needs to first be retrieved from the goblin post office.
Venturing into town our heroes find the ramshackle goblin post office, barge into the office and are directed to customer service. They point them to the boss. After scrambling up the stairs to find a loud and horrible break room they interrupt a card-game-argument to get directions up to the boss. Forging their way through drifts of letters and thieving gremlins they arrive at a second more civilised breakroom and thence to the bosses office.
[DM Commentary - initial interactions with the goblins went well, a lot of barging past the queues of locals but getting to the front did not make the goblins much more helpful. The coffee and snacks in the break-room proved an unexpected attraction and the gremlins among the letter drifts were a good hazard. I played those more as 'save vs effect' hazards rather than combat since the gremlins were so out matched. One was captured and hauled around for the rest of the adventure cursing its captor.]
The boss queries them then sends them to customer service, where the party splits. Half deciding to just try searching the next room - special package storage - and the rest returning to customer servce. Archie decides to follow the 'faster service' ladder and finds Griselda the All-Seeing. Directed from their to the basement and Agatha then venture down and find Agatha who despite the irregularities, directs them towards the special package storage.
[DM Commentary - by this point 'you need to go see the boss' was causing eye-twitch reactions among some of the party as they were failing to distinguish between who is in charge in this room and who is in charge of the whole building. There was much running up and down to try and out-pace the package. The party split into a group led by Archie who followed the Boss instructions and another of Giovanni, Thomas and Balthus who decided to just start searching for the package themselves.]
Arriving first into special package storage, Thomas, Hyperion and Giovanni poke about in the giant stacks of parcels and when Thomas casts a Detect Magic, filching one or two. As the others arrive, and finally bring some light to the gloomy room, a giant book worm is revealed nibbling packages in the far end of the room. Returning (most of) its packages, they are told the latest delivery has already been sent to the roof.
[DM Commentary - the random package generators came in very handy here as the room was searched and random packages pocketted. Eventually someone cast Dancing Lights and the bookworm woke up - they assumed it was staff and did not fight it.]
Scrambling up the ladder they find a giant stork in its nest and a baffled goblin staring in, with a sack of packages abandoned nearby - and a trio of hogmen sneaking up to grab it. Shooing off the hogmen, our heroes attempt to reconcile the stork and goblins confusion over the hatched winged lizards in the nest before Balthus manages to grievously insult the storks parenting skills and they are chased off.
Archie and Giovanni grab the package they are looking for and dash back down the inside of the post office while everyone else follows the hogmen back down their grappling-rope.
[DM Commentary - the random roll for the Stork and Goblins disposition had them confused over the strange hatching of winged lizards - so I made the mail bandits be a group of sneaking hogmen in place of a loud attack. The players managed to intimidate off the hogmen then tried to help the stork figure out what was going on. This turned into an effort to persuade the stork to give up the hatchlings for adoption by the party that was going ok for a bit until it was blown by implying the stork was a bad parent for building their nest here. Cue angry chase off]
Abandoning their plan to deliver the package today, our heroes return to the Golden Cockerel with two packages - one for the Wizard da Pra and another covered in ancient return addresses and warning stickers. Giovanni cuts this open and find a mysterious animated bug which speaks a strange tongue. They give it a lute and it plays music unlike any they have heard before. Deciding not to worry about it, they leave the bug at the Golden Cockerel and set out again to deliver the package.
Session report for Goblin Mail ends
Overall view - it ran more quickly and less violently than I might have thought, people did not dig into the 'why are there goblin post offices' at all. It very much got across the kafka-esque run-around of being endlessly pointed to different desks. By the time the party left they needed to go for an in-game drink.
All in all a nice little drop in module - use it the once for a sessions of have it in the background to be used and re-used. No reason more goblin post offices might not be encountered in the future.
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